Top Chef and I: Stephen Asprinio, Season 1

Another round on us? You bet'cha! In this edition of "Top Chef and I," I'll be going into the wonderfully(?) didactic performance of Stephen Asprinio on season 1 of the show. You've got a lot to learn in this edition, so read up on the guidelines for this series extra carefully or else you'll get lost in the jargon of knowledge this guy has up his cufflinks!

Profile

Name: Stephen Asprinio

Residence: Las Vegas, NV

Position: Sommelier

Synopsis

Episode 1 (Who Deserves to Be Here)

Suited Sommelier Stephen Asprinio defines himself as a leader. Someone people should follow based on the level of quality he sets. As an audience, we don’t really see that standard from jump when he attempts to complete the quickfire of working at Hubert Keller’s joint for half an hour. He almost makes it, but he's booted 4 minutes shy of the requirement due to nerves. Let those nerves not be a hinderance to his talents in the kitchen though as he confidently approaches the wine section of the store during shopping for the elimination challenge because, as he puts it, “a dish is not complete without the proper wine” (taste-testing wines and sharing insight with fellow competitors Miguel Morales and Lisa Parks in the process.)

Notes of...acidity and primacy (and I'm just talking about Stephen)

As a result of the knife pull afterward, Stephen gets to dine and critique dishes from fellow competitors before he cooks. Noting that Andrea Beaman’s dish had sand in it, he also finds Candice Kumai’s dish reeking of culinary school vibes (as if she’s not still in culinary school...)

When it’s his turn to cook, he reveals in making a lamb dish with a component that’s seared to the fourth power. (Ok then...) While it pays off in some regard given the positive reception, he doesn’t win the challenge. Instead, the win goes to fellow competitor Harold Dieterle.

Episode 2 (Food of Love)

Amidst the next quickfire where the chefs are required to present a fruit display, Stephen takes a more “intellectual” route and strictly offers the fruit heavily decompartmentalized inside little mugs. Upon win of the quickfire, he’s also granted immunity, yet he still strives on producing great food during the sexy dessert elimination challenge. He makes this “bubbling orgasm” that bubbles sex manager Madame S and host Katie Lee Joel’s spirits alike (reaching a climatic top when Madame S chooses him as one of the best of the lot...only to lose to a guy with pastry experience that dressed at the event like this).

Artsy displays from the sommelier...and proof that the "bubbling orgasm" was a dessert

Episode 3 (Nasty Delights)

As if he didn't spirit his way enough in the last episode, Stephen continues down an alcoholic path in the next episode’s quickfire involving octopus. The use of alcohol combined with the octopus results in this collection of food art designed to be smeared in one direction. Guest judge Laurent Manrique enjoyed the dish, but it wasn’t enough to secure him the win.

In the elimination challenge, Stephen becomes team members with Cynthia Sestito, Candice, and former grocery store wine companions Miguel and Lisa to create a meal for children. Before they could come up with a plan, Stephen has concerns about Candice’s skills. Additionally, Cynthia bows out of the competition to take care of her dad, and Andrea (who was eliminated in the last episode) is brought back to fill in her spot.

With Stephen being someone who held back in doing the shopping prior to her return, Andrea was unaware of what she walked into as a huge debate over the potential use of cooking cutters erupted between Stephen and Candice after Candice returns from the store with Lisa. Given Candice’s obsession with cutting things into shapes that I noted in my entry on her, Stephen’s shouldn’t be too shocked, but to “bring her back to his level” as he says, Stephen takes it upon himself to label such proposition with the tool as “childish” (as if they’re not cooking for kids). From there, he combats Candice with harsh comments.

Through all that rumble, Stephen and Candice somehow manage to get stopped in disputing further and continue on during the remainder of the challenge. He gets a little annoyed with the disorganized chaos the rest of the team is inhibiting during setup the day of the event (only for him to let a tray of food fall to the ground), but they eventually prevail through in getting the kids their meals. They also try to engage with them to boost their chances of winning (with Stephen going the opposite route of partaking in pep rally sessions other members decided to do and instead crafts an unwanted lesson on terminology.)

In the end, Stephen wins with his team when the kids choose his team’s meal over the other’s, but he insists scornfully that if they did lose, he wouldn’t be on the line for expulsion.

Episode 4 (Food on the Fly)

With a real lack of quality alcohol at the gas station during the gas station quickfire where the chefs have to create dishes using inventory from the common joint, Stephen gets desperate and breaks the rules with the use of fresh herbs (tarragon) to his dish when the rules stated only dried herbs could be used. He claims he didn't hear the sentiment, but Harold claims otherwise. Nevertheless, it didn't help the dish from guest judge Jefferson Hill's eyes (though he does note the cleanliness in presentation). The real ringer in this situation is when Jefferson questions Stephen using the oh so forbidden tarragon on the dish in the first place. The moment he’s questioned, Stephen prompts to appear so ghastly offended as if Jefferson was spitting moonshine (and I don't mean the drink).

In the end, Stephen’s dish, even with its fault, lands in the middle for the challenge.

When the gang goes grocery shopping for the following elimination challenge, Stephen goes over-budget and has to cut his stock in some way, which he manages to do, before arriving at the kitchen to cook. Stephen does, per the words of fellow competitor Dave Martin, a “fusion tamale blah blah blah,” and when it’s time to present to the clients (the junior league), he attaches another history lesson to his meal because his lessons don’t discriminate. Judge Gail Simmons’ reaction off to the side was priceless.

Stephen’s dish lands him in the bottom with Candice and Lisa for the challenge, and he’s appalled to even be in this category (with people like Candice and Lisa nonetheless). While he does take responsibility for his performance, it just left the judges more confused as they sense of bewilderment in hearing his dish was not good. In the end, judge Tom Colicchio wished all three could go, but Candice ends up being the one eliminated.

Episode 5 (Blind Confusion)

If only he could've seen the konnyaku. He could've given us a lesson on their origin!

As the competition dwindles down, Stephen senses that people are more and more looking out for themselves over anyone else, yet that may be just the quality to inherit for the next quickfire when the remaining chefs have to identify food based solely on taste. Claiming to be in the top 3% of whatever he goes for, those testaments are challenged, and Stephen doesn’t impress. He passes through the foods as if they're beneath him without any attempt in guessing them and ends up managing to get 3 of them correct amidst the likes of Lee Anne Wong, Harold, and Lisa. 3% might just be a wee bit inaccurate in this case.

Stephen then gets paired with Lee Anne for the elimination challenge where they have to make street fusion food for the public. Assigned with combining Chinese cuisine and Latin cuisine together, they shop at an Asian market as a pair before heading to a Latin market with everyone else (as the challenge has everyone incorporating Latin cuisine with one other cuisine). During that run, he gets aggravated with Miguel because he keeps interrupting his interactions with the meat counter staff in English by his own interactions with them in Spanish.

When the day arrives to sell their food at the Mission District, Stephen and Lee Anne are humorously within walking distance of another team's cart. Let alone his wardrobe clashing with the Mission's lifestyle, his attempts at selling the (free) food to the consumers from his team’s cart becomes rough to watch (almost as rough as watching Stephen attempt to move a trash can).

The minimalistic approach. How fitting

However, things start to look up for him and Lee Anne when the judges arrive to taste their street food (corn sope with char sui pork and a lychee "virjito") and find it delicious. They get called up as being successes during judging, but they end up losing to Tiffani Faison and Dave for the win.

Episode 6 (Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner)

Compared to the others, Stephen paces with a greater focus during the quickfire that required the chefs to make an appetizer under a limited budget. He ends up making poached baby manila clams over grilled sea beans, and guest judge Tim Allen notes the inquisitiveness he demonstrated with the presentation. Much to his satisfaction (and the dissatisfaction of others), Stephen ends up as the winner of the quickfire.

With a dose of immunity gained from winning the quickfire, Stephen’s given the ultimatum from Tiffani when the chefs are required to cohesively make a dinner for Ted’s event for the elimination challenge. She suggests him to be in charge of the dessert course since everyone else was, for one reason or another, resistant in taking it. With immunity, Stephen’s not at risk of going home if the dessert happens to be a flop. As if Tom, who just so happened to pass on by while they’re discussing, gave an expression that intensified the situation more, Stephen nonetheless takes the course head-on. He even makes more of an effort to ensure the course will go over well by going on AOL and gathering recipes. He also decides to be the sommelier for the meal (much to no one's request).

Having access to the internet on a reality TV show? That's wild (though I have seen it done on other shows from that time period. Maybe it's just me)

As if that wasn't enough on his plate, Stephen also has to switch gears from doing his dish to doing Dave’s dish when Tom makes the chefs randomly swap dishes the day of the challenge. As a result of the swap, Harold’s now assigned to do Stephen’s dish, and he’s thoroughly displeased. Luckily, Stephen was not willing to let Harold drown in dessert sorrows, and the two team-up to work on the dish (making Stephen do 40 things at this point). That effect of working together lingers over to the dish Stephen has to do for the event, but the dynamic for that is characterized differently with Harold making the dish and Stephen presenting it. Dave (the person that made the dish Stephen now has) thought the strategy was whack, but Stephen ends up getting away with it when he’s deemed one of the top players at judging. Additionally, he states Miguel as a better chef than Andrea and Dave when Miguel’s disarray in the kitchen for the challenge is revealed to the judges.

Episode 7 (Restaurant Wars)

At the next quickfire, the chefs create a sandwich for Tom in hopes that it’ll appear in one of Tom’s restaurants. Stephen decides to go in a brunch route and makes a brunch brioche sandwich, but the flavors didn’t work well in Tom’s eyes, and he ends up not being the winner for that day.

Stephen's high standards are put to a test at the warehouse for the elimination challenge

Afterward, Stephen gets paired with Lee Anne and Miguel for the next elimination challenge requiring the chefs to build a restaurant. Naming their restaurant Sabor, Stephen tries to push for more high-end products during food shopping and adheres more to the outer ambiance of the restaurant than with helping Lee Anne and Miguel in prep. His persistence in maintaining high-quality becomes even more evident when Stephen warehouse shops for an extended period of time (attempting to budget his expensive tastes in the process).

During service, Stephen continually becomes over lavish with educating diners that the flow of service becomes off-balance. Nevertheless, he feels that the restaurant’s concept is so strong that it'll beat the other team's concept. Not only does he perceive it as generic, he also points the diner count being less than theirs.

Stephen gets a stern warning from Tom to focus on cooking for the cooking competition

When judging arrives, Stephen still feels confident that his team was at the top despite the other team being called to the panel first (which, at this point, has been an indication to show who was at the top and who wasn't). Unfortunately for him and his team, they do become the losers of the challenge as a result of their performance. With the topic on service flow being brought up as a critical point in their demise, Stephen flat-out admits dazedly that his goal of educating the diners played a part in the service rate. Even still, he thinks Miguel should go home for being the weakest member of the team. In the end, Miguel does get the axe. Stephen gets to stay in the competition but not without a stern warning from Tom to step it up in the chef department.

Episode 8 (Wedding Bell Blues)

In true Stephen way, he remains pertinent in going all extravagant for the next quickfire. Tasked to make an Asian-inspired menu a couple’s wedding the chefs would have to then execute for the following elimination challenge once the couple chose which one was the most appetizing to them, Stephen gave an evidently complicated Japanese menu with a tangerine prawn escabeche canape demonstration that had Katie question if it could be done in the limited budget they'll be assigned. Stephen confidently believes it could, but with Lee Anne's menu being the one selected, that theory didn't need to be tested (for the better probably).

Under Lee Anne’s guidance, Stephen’s given the task to work on the amuse bouche of Japanese appetizers she has on her menu. Though he takes zero issue with it, he does take issue to Lee Anne proposing the use of a cake mix for the wedding cake. Personally, he felt the move to be mediocre and wanted no part in it.

Initially not planning on doing an all-nighter for the challenge given his perception that everyone was primarily responsible for one course, he ends up sticking with them anyway. Good thing he did because Stephen moved at a slow pace, but he did manage to finish making the appetizers with some time to spare. Now, one might use that time to help out in the kitchen or to get his own meal plated in an orderly fashion. Nope. Not Stephen. He instead takes the time to train the front of house staff as spoons that were to be used for one of the appetizers remained unprepped. By the time the cake comes, Stephen’s desire to stick by the strategy has evaporated completely into thin air. He couldn’t stand for it. He felt it to be a mockery.

Stephen certainly was not going to let the service dismantle. The spoons on the other hand...

During judging, Stephen gets called out by Dave and Tiffani for not doing enough in the kitchen. As a response, Stephen gives off a bunch of claims for why he did what he did (while also iterating that he did not sell wine as Dave had also claimed earlier). In addition, he calls for Lee Anne to be sent home due to the poor menu concept. Ultimately however, Stephen’s the one out of the lot to get the chop. His lack of help in the kitchen over front of house maintenance (an offense he’d previously done in the past) rendered him worthy of going home over everyone else this go around.

Episode 10 (Reunion)

A shockingly suitless Stephen arrives at the reunion with a lot to say. From recognizing how his personality rubbed others the wrong way to getting at it with his former competitor Ken Lee on multiple occasions to even apologizing to Candice for the way he unfairly came at her during episode 4’s argument, Stephen was very adamant in opening up his thoughts toward the others with more honesty. On the flip side, as the episode winded down with the eliminated contestants talking about the finalists (Harold, Tiffani, and Dave), a white-wined up Stephen unintentionally and hilariously explains Dave being the underdog of the bunch by comparing his lane of cooking to Tiffani and Harold’s fine-dining lane using impossible math.

Episode 11 (Finale, Part 1)

In the first part of the season’s two-part finale, Stephen makes an appearance as a high roller in the quickfire with previously eliminated contestants Miguel and Lee Anne. As a high roller, high-quality was expected for the patrons, but Stephen got fairly irritated with one of Dave’s dishes involving unpeeled shrimp in the process. Overall, he found different ranging faults with all the dishes, but he felt Harold’s dishes were the strongest in satisfying the audience that was to be cooked for.

Episode 12 (Finale, Part 2)

Appearing once more in the second part of the season’s finale, Stephen’s brought back to be a sous-chef for either of the remaining contestants (Harold or Tiffani). Despite showing interest to work with both of them, he decides in the end to team up with Tiffani. During planning, Stephen’s focus on wine accompaniments for the food peg to be more of an issue than they have in the past. Not because of the sheer fact that he’s focusing on wine yet again (even though it should be), but because of the difficulty there is in pairing them given Tiffani’s bold choice to do two menus.

Seemingly getting sloshed with Dave the night before the final cook, Stephen manages to push through the day and deliver for Tiffani. He later expresses his thoughts in working with her during judging when the judges brought all the sous-chefs in to talk about their experiences working with the finalists. He iterates her idea of doing two menus to be bold with respect despite the wine pairing difficulty, but he also snidely acknowledges how helping Tiffani plays a huge part in her potentially winning. He even takes it a step further by thinking that Harold should be Top Chef when the judges asked each of the sous-chefs who they think should win despite being with Tiffani in the first place as he found him to be a stronger chef. When Harold does become Top Chef after the judges deliberate, Stephen dons one final appearance with the rest of the sous-chefs to celebrate Harold’s win.

Analyzation

What to say about the wine connoisseur whose presence mixed the cast’s spirits up with unease. Well, for one, he’s a wine connoisseur. Ok. He has a culinary degree. But when you have ambitions to be a game-changer in the restaurant industry (*cough* he also has a business degree *cough*), food can take some sort of backseat. To be fair, he did put forth major effort in many of his dishes. He also put just as much effort, if not more, in the outer experience of dining in as a customer. As a viewer, it makes your experience in watching him deliver the experience....an unappealing experience. His affected-ness is effectively wearing on your patience week after week.

Moments like Stephen acknowledging Miguel with a fist bump during episode 2's elimination challenge showed a chummier side to him that gave hints that he could give off affection toward his colleagues

But beneath the windsor ties and carefully crafted hair does lie a person. Just that. A person. Not a guide. Not a manual. A person. As drunk as he was during the reunion, recognizing how he came off on television, apologizing to Candice for demeaning her worth, and even having the balls to step up to Ken’s own taunts in a manner that showed more emotion than he ever did in the competition, Stephen showing capabilities of emoting is as great of a piece of information as you could get from the guy as a viewer. (While I personally saw little pockets of him acting sincere beforehand, it seemingly took a breakthrough after for others to see that.)

Perhaps another breakthrough that could sway people into having a more positive reception of him came after the reunion when he was a sous-chef for Tiffani. Having the option to choose who he wanted to work with, Harold had two people already submit their pledge to him. Given Tiffani’s perception of her by the others throughout the competition, you’d think Stephen would automatically try his chance at Harold as well, but he opted to work with her. It might’ve sound like such a strange thing to do, but he gives his reasoning.

It’s not in my upbringing to let someone fall when I am in a position to help him (or her) succeed; competition or not. [...] I felt badly for her. The look in her eyes, when no one wanted to work for her, was too much to bear. As nasty as she is, she’s still a human being. - Stephen Asprinio talking about his morals and his decision to be on Tiffani's team in an interview with Reality Thumbnails in 2006

There you have it. Stephen is capable of feeling (whether you still feel like he can’t). He isn’t, however, capable of winning the first season of Top Chef. Too much focus on the experience led to his demise (though I won’t argue that the wedding cake attempt was abysmal). For his bio to say he yearned back in being in the kitchen, his inhibitions wouldn’t. He can’t help it though.

I couldn't solely focus only on the kitchen. I can't ignore details. If the prize was a million dollars I would've made a different decision, but not for 100 grand. I was happy to make it that far. - Stephen Asprinio in an interview with Andy Cohen on his Bravo blog in 2006

...we're in the hospitality industry -- it's about the guest. - Stephen Asprinio in an interview with Andy Cohen on his Bravo blog in 2006

So, the lesson of the day: let Stephen be who he wants to be. Just don’t have people like him compete on cooking shows (which they learned).